Updated: Aug 14, 2020
💯We’re told from such a young age to work for validation and approval. Study so you can get an “A” so you’ll get a good report card, end up on honor roll and have everyone tell you how amazing you are. Get the trophy, certificate, or standing ovation so you can feel like you matter.
✅What that can easily lead us to is STRIVING. Where we feel like we have to work, work, WORK to be valued. The harder we work the more they’ll love us. If we’re not “successful” (by whichever standard, either the world’s or those closest to us) then we DON’T matter.
⭕️Unfortunately, many people feel that about their parents or other close relationships. They feel like they have to work for their love. Have to say the right things, do the right things - all so that they will LOVE you. And sometimes there is an endless cycle of feeling unworthy because some people, you will NEVER be able to please. No matter how hard you work.
🔑In healthy relationships and circumstances, you won’t have to STRIVE. You’ll have to work, everything worth anything takes work, but you’ll work OUT OF LOVE, not out of the NEED TO BE LOVED. There’s a big difference.
🚫No amount of success or approval or validation will make you feel worthy. Other people CANNOT do that for you. You have to decide that you’re worthy, or else you’ll work yourself to death for other people and never truly live.